2006年2月19日 星期日

Letters waiting in my mail box everyday



Dear Mr. Chou,

Thank you for your interest in our firm. However, our Summer Program, if it is decided to have one, has not traditionally been extended to first year law students. Please fell free to touch base with us again next year.

On behalf of the firm, we wish you the very best in all your future endeavors and continued success in law school. Thank you again for your interest in our firm.

Dear Mr. Chou,

Thank you for your recent communication concerning employment with F & S, L.L.P. Unfortunately, we have completed our recruiting efforts for this season and are therefore not in a position to consider you for the upcoming summer. Our inability to consider your application, now, however, is in no way a reflection on your qualifications.

Dear Mr. Chou,

Thank you for your interest in our student associate position at S & F, L.L.P. Our Recruitment Committee has considered the candidates who have applied with relation to our employment needs.

Although we are very impresses with your credentials, we have thoroughly reviewed our hiring needs and find we will be unable to offer you a position at this time. We are in the fortunate position of having received many outstanding applications and have thus had to make some very difficult choices.

Dear Mr. Chou,

Given our limited number of available 1L positions, I am sorry to report that we will not be able to consider you for a position in our summer program. With many outstanding candidates such as yourself, our decision was not easy.

Dear Mr. Chou,

Thank you for your inquiry regarding summer associate positions with our firm. Due to the success of our fall on-campus recruiting, we have determined that we will not be able to offer you employment at this time. However, we do encourage you to reapply in the fall of our 2007 summer program.

Dear Mr. Chou,

Thank you for your inquiry about possible summer employment with our firm following completion of your first year of law school. Unfortunately, we are unable to extend an invitation to interview with us at this time.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After the third rejection letter, I stopped feeling anything. Rejection is expected since I, as an 1L, have not built up any credential to demonstrate my capability. The lawyer market in America is like Major League Baseball--the toughest competition in the world.

A few weeks ago I attended the our school's moot court competition. The competition is basically an imitation of an appellate argument (上訴) in front of the higher courts, such as Circuit courts (高等法院) or the Supreme Court (最高法院). The issue in dispute is about whether one is protected by freedom of expression (言論自由) when he puts in a CD some inaudible insulting language (在CD中插入攻擊性的言論,但是必須要在快轉CD時才聽得見), which cannot be heard unless the CD was fast forwarded.

The argument was great fun. Both teams composed of 3L students performed well. The bench (法官席) constituted of the newly-elected Chief Justice (首席大法官) John Roberts, and two justices from the Second Circuit (第二巡迴高等法院). For those of you who are not familiar with the US government system, the status of Chief Justice in the judicial branch (司法系統 ) is similar to the President in the executive branch (行政系統).

What amazed me the most during the competition, however, was the awe the Chief Justice enjoyed. Everyone in the auditorium had to stand up when the justices enter the bench, and when they leave the court. You "explain" to the justice, but you never argue with the justice. When justice ask a question, you answer the question. What the justice decided is final, at least in a fairly long time. The justices' power, albeit sporadically checked by the higher court, is only limited by the justices' obedience to the law.

I envy that power, and hope one day I will possess that power. Not necessarily as a judge, but as some kind of legal professional. The competition reminded me that the reason I entered the law profession, is to obtain the power to significantly affect others' life; to witness and participate in the most intimate crisis in ones life; and to resolve and judge the crisis with the value that I believe in.

I get rejection letters everyday. But letters do not reject me.

Windstar 125 ﹝風神125﹞

My best friend in law school Karen asked me to put some Taiwan music on my blog. So here it is.

The song is called <Windstar 125>. Windstar 125 is a name of a 125 c.c. schooter. Just like "Camry" is a name of a car. This song is perfect for foreigh students and is currently my No. 1 favorite song.

It's actually not a Taiwanese song, but in Haka (客家話), written and played by Labor Exchange Band (交工樂隊). The lyrics is about a young man's journey. He grew up in the country side of Taiwan, but was never satisfied with his farming life. Instead, he dreamed of living big, shiny and glorious in a big city. One day, he secretly left school and his family and took a train in Taipei (the capital of Taiwan).

After several years of struggle, he failed and was frustrated. He missed the land and smell and sunrise of his home, but he was too embarassed to return without achievements. He missed his parents and his old grandmother. One night, he finally took his Windstar 125, and rode towards home.

When he got close to his home county, he started to pray for the moon to hide, for the gods to turn the lights of the roads off, so he can quietly return without notice. He saw the door of his home, saw his parents in the farm, saw the sunrise. And he left.

The song I put on here is a bad recording (don't know how to put on the album version). It was recorded in Jan 2001 at NTU student center, a live performance that I attended. I still remember my thrill when I first heard the suona horn (a windwood instrument, 嗩吶) raised. It penetrated my heart like John Coltrane's solo. It washed my soul.

To me, that suona is the sound of Taiwan, the sound of home.

2006年2月12日 星期日

低潮


聖誕節之後,就一直過得渾渾噩噩。
一連串的變化與打擊,使我突然失去了目標,也失去了熱情。
對上課與競爭都失去了興趣,對自己的人際關係也失去信心。

表面上看來沒有異狀,裡面卻是空的。
但是學校課業的壓力還是一直一直來,所以就像空的鐵鍋在爐子上燒一樣。

壓力一大的時候,就會發現自己許多缺點。
不是那種一條一條條列式的缺點。雖然那一種也不少。
比如說唸書缺乏自律,做事情沒有條理,常常分心或是很難與人深交。

在該專心的時候分心,在不該擔心的時候擔心。
唸書的時候想著玩樂,玩樂的時候又擔心課業。

唉聲歎氣的,也顯示抗壓性很低。

可是最根本的問題是自己腦筋不好。
不是那種題目做不出來或是書看不懂的不好,雖然那一種也有。
而是一種『硬碰硬』的性格。

腦筋好的人,懂得遇到困難的時候,用自己最擅長最輕鬆的方式面對。
這種人總是可以有不錯的表現。
腦筋不好的人,總是挑最困難的方式去面對,然後碰個頭暈臉黑。

比如說,這一學期五門課,四門傳統法學課程,一門寫作課。
傳統課程成績從A到C都有。
寫作課功課最多,成積卻只分三種,High pass,pass跟not pass。
全班13個人只有兩個人兩個人可以拿high pass,其他人通常都拿pass。

一個腦筋好的人,會懂得要分配時間。
因為得到high pass的機會太小,他會把大部分時間花在傳統課程上,而只要寫作課保持有pass就好。

一個腦筋不好的人,例如我,就不懂得分配時間。
每一科都想要唸很多書,寫作課要交報告時就翹傳統課寫作業;
一個只佔15%的演講測驗,別人花1個小時準備我卻花4個小時;
最後兩頭落空。傳統課程成績也不好,寫作課還是只得了一個pass。

每個人都有不同的讀書方法跟心理狀態。
有人說:﹝就努力催眠自己對這個科目很有興趣,唸久了就真的有興趣了。﹞
也有人說:﹝遇到挫折我會想,別人的成功是別人過去努力的累積,我未來的成功也是來自我現在努力的累積。﹞

我覺得都說得很棒。

習慣以『埋頭苦讀』來面對挑戰的我,直到現在才開始慢慢摸索最適合自己的成功之路。

希望從這一篇文章開始,揮別之前的渾渾噩噩。
回到專一為課業、事業全心奉獻的生活。